I'm going for an interview, I'm being interviewed for… 

We treat interviews as a one-way process: a panel asking the questions, and you trying to give the right answers. But that is the wrong way round. The best interviews are two-way conversations, because you are both making a decision that will affect your future. 

An interview is not about passing a test, it is about discovering whether you and the organisation are right for each other. You are interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing you. 

When you think like that, everything changes. You stop trying to please and start trying to understand. You ask questions that matter. About how decisions are made, what kind of people succeed there, what happens when things go wrong. You listen to how they describe the culture, not just the job. You notice whether they treat each other with respect, whether there’s humour in the room, whether they seem to enjoy what they do. 

I once coached a senior leader who came out of an interview and said, “I think I passed, but I’m not sure I’d want to work with them.” That’s exactly the point. You’re not just looking for a job, you’re looking for the place where you can do your best work. 

We see interviews as a one-way street because, for years, we were taught to “perform”, to impress, to be chosen. But leadership today demands more mutuality. The most successful leaders choose environments where they can grow, where their values fit, and where they can make a real impact. 

So next time you go for an interview, remember: they may be assessing you, but you are assessing them too. If you behave like a future colleague, not a hopeful candidate, you’ll change the whole dynamic; and you might just find the role that truly fits you