Honest feedback is really important, it allows you to grow both personally and professionally if you listen to it properly and act on it, but it’s much harder to get than you think it might be. 

Two things get in the way. You (the receiver) and the other person (the giver). 

The more senior you are the harder it becomes. However much you try to create a safe environment for feedback, there is generally no such thing as far as the people who work for you are concerned. They are unwilling to risk their careers by being critical and so they tell you what they think you want to hear. Too much flattering feedback will start to warp your own self view.

So how do you get that honest feedback? Firstly, choose the right people to give it. Feedback from a coach or an independent third party can be helpful provided they understand business and have held a role at your level. Ideally, they need to see you in action. Anonymised 360 feedback is good if it is genuinely anonymised.  Your nearest and dearest are good sources. I often hear “but that’s just what my partner says” as a response to some coaching feedback. Somehow though, people believe feedback more when it comes from a coach.

If you ask colleagues for feedback then be specific, a particular event not just a broad question. "What could I have done better on that occasion" is less threatening than a broader question about your general behaviour. Ask the members of the audience, not those who presented with you. If you have given an “all hands” presentation, then find some junior hands who were there and ask them.

Model feedback behaviour yourself. Don’t wait to be asked. Get in the habit of giving feedback from the perspective of a recipient. “I thought you chaired that meeting really well, but I’m not sure that we all away with clarity about the conclusions, maybe next time it would help us all if you spent a bit more time at the end to make sure everyone understands,” rather than “you just rushed off and left us all thinking WTF”.

Above all remember that feedback is a gift, don’t dismiss it because you don’t like it. And remember that for many people it’s harder to deal with good feedback than with bad.